Who, me?

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the relaxed demeanor of people in Seattle, especially compared with the attention-deficient New Yorkers. But people in this area can be infuriatingly inert.

Example 1: driving. Drivers here are bad. Not because they’re too aggressive, too fast or too rude. Rather, they don’t think they need to do anything other than watch the speed limit, and stay in their lane.
So what happens when you’re trying to get into the highway, and in the highway lane there is a car just slightly ahead of you, and one just slightly behind, going at your same speed, and blocking your access?
Yup, good luck with that. Neither car will do anything about it. It’s up to you to floor the gas or slam on the brake. Or honk like crazy, or just force your way between the cars, and hope for the best. You asshole, see what you did?

Example 2: elevators. The elevators in my building require your ID badge to be swiped, before you can press your floor’s button. The swipe device is only in one corner of the elevator, next to the buttons. Almost always, people get in the elevator, stand next to the swipe device, swipe their card, press their button and just stay there. It’s up to you to swipe your badge between the device and the person standing next to it. Or ask someone to swipe for you, or say, crossly “Excuse me!”. You asshole, see what you did?

Example 3: elevators, again. For some reason, in crowded elevators, the person standing by the door, and blocking the others from exiting on their own floor, never thinks he/she needs to do anything other than breathe. It’s up to you to shove gently, say “Excuse me!”, or cough loudly. You asshole, see what you did?

My dear Seattleites. Nobody is denying you’re relaxed, and civilized in many ways, but sometimes you require a little peripheral vision. Yes, I’m talking to you! Hey!

About Jaime Silvela

My favorite chemical element is Potassium.
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12 Responses to Who, me?

  1. ktula says:

    I think people in this country, not just Seattleites, have no clue what the passing lane is for. I have been constantly frustrated by assholes who drive at or below the speed limit in the passing lane, matching the speed of the car in the right lane, so there is no way for you to pass them. Most of them are so deep in their own little world, completely obliviously of what’s happening around them that they won’t move away from the passing lane until you past them on the right lane. I hate passing cars on the right lane but a lot of times, there’s just no other way outside of honking or flashing the high beam at those inert drivers. Wake up, morons!

  2. viejecita says:

    The second lift thing happens also here, when entering or exiting the subway wagons, especially at rush hour.
    People rush to the doors, trying to enter, and they do’nt move to let you out. Now that I am an old lady, I love pushing them out of the way, and saying loud enough for all around to hear ” antes de entrar, dejen salir”
    And when you try to enter the highway with a supposedly good car, the drivers make way for you. But just you try the same thing while driving a little car, or an old jalopy, and just count how many cars actually increase their speed, at the sight of you, just to prevent your car from getting before theirs…

  3. ktula says:

    All these talks about inconsiderate assholes brings back my all time favorite: people who hoard around the baggage claim carousel at airports like dung beetles on a piece of freshly-dropped elephant dung. I wrote about a surefire way to deal with this problem: http://ktula.com/2005/10/24/baggage-claim-carousel-solution-the-hog-buster/

  4. viejecita says:

    Your ideas are brilliant. Not only because they would ease the claiming of baggage, but because they would reassure travelers that no one was going to pinch their bags.

    I read somewhere that the two greatest anxieties of people who travel by air are not the fear of accidents, or terrorists, but:
    a- To get space for their carry-on bags in the overhead compartment, and
    b- To be sure no one is going to steal their checked luggage from the carousel.

    Your methods would make flights more relaxed, as people would not mind checking their luggage half as much. Which would in turn mean more available space in the overhead compartments.

    Brilliant, as I said. (I hope you don’t mind my barging in)

  5. ktula says:


    Thank you for appreciating my idea. Getting past the technical issues involved in something like this is one thing. Having enough funds to deal with the potential lawsuits relating to humiliation, burns, amputations and deaths is the big thing 🙂

  6. Javier says:

    Heavy artillery and poison gas. That’s the trick.

  7. I like the Hog Buster idea. You could also have the incinerator module, which will incinerate your luggage if you stand in the courtesy zone when you shouldn’t.

  8. viejecita says:

    ¡Help me Ye Gods!
    My children seem to have a cruel streak on their minds.
    But they have not inherited that from me.

  9. ktula says:

    @Jaime: I LOVE the incinerator module idea! With the incinerator module, no one gets hurt, except may be financially. We just have to make sure passengers sign a waiver during check-in that their bags will be vaporized if they are in violation of the courtesy zone. I think we are on to something here. This has the potential to be one of the most hyped inventions since the dud Segway. US patent office, here we come!

  10. Pingback: raining ktula » Blog Archive » Baggage claim crowding solution: the Hog Buster

  11. viejecita says:

    Jaime and Ktula

    The incinerator idea would be all right if one could be absolutely certain that no one with a universal voucher was going to be able to approach the carousel.
    They (people with universal vouchers), would not mind if the rest of the luggage was burned to ashes. They would pinch any expensive bags that looked promising, and go, before the rightful owners had the chance of entering the restricted zone.
    Another danger would come from people who did not mind their own luggage being destroyed. (they could have checked an old bag full of newspapers), in exchange for the chance of getting a valuable bag or two.
    As for myself, I would rather suffer a slight burn, than have my baggage pinched by someone else.

  12. Miwa says:

    Interesting. I sometimes think being “relaxed” and “inconsiderate” are the manifestations of the same gray matter in people’s brain. But certainly, no excuse for being an asshole!

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